About The Criterion Contraption

Hello! Welcome to the new home of the Criterion Contraption, Matthew Dessem’s blog about the films in the Criterion Collection. From 2004 through 2013, I wrote on blogspot about my attempt to “watch all the DVDs in the Criterion Collection.” At the time I began the project, Criterion had released fewer than 300 titles and this seemed like an attainable goal. (I was watching those movies on Netflix DVDs played on a PlayStation 2 connected to a CRT television; 2004 was a long time ago!) I eventually abandoned the blog when paid writing jobs were eating up too much of my time. That is no longer a problem, but I still enjoy thinking and writing about movies, so this seemed like a good time to revisit my roots.

What Do Subscribers Get Get For Free?

I am going to continue watching and writing about the films in the Criterion Collection in spine order, starting with #151. I plan to focus on deeply researching each film, and explaining, as best I can, how they were made and how they work. These essays will always be free.

What Do Subscribers Get If They Pay Money?

I am going to alternate between writing an essay about the next Criterion Collection movie in spine order and writing an essay about a recent Criterion release, probably focused on 4K discs. These essays about recent releases will only be available to subscribers. My goal is simply to pay for my Ghost license and buy myself copies of the movies I write about, but if this goes well, I will devote more time to other premium content options. So subscribe already!

I Will Send You E-Mails!

This is a newsletter platform, so new posts will arrive right in your inbox. You can also browse to thecriterioncontraption.com.

I Will Not Send You Too Many E-Mails!

The kind of work I want to do takes a lot of time to research and write, so you won’t have to worry about me clogging up your inbox with daily updates. I am not going to use this platform to promote anything, except probably I will mention Vidéothèque in passing, not for money, but because it is Los Angeles County’s greatest place to rent a movie and I love it there. I will not send you emails about Vidéothèque, even if they offer me fortune and glory. I will, however, embed a 30 second ad for them right here on the website, for free.

Rent more movies!

Why Now?

There is no question writers relish more than “Why is your work important for this moment? Why does America need to read what you have written right now?” It always has a clear and compelling answer, and here is mine. After losing my job at Slate in September of 2021, I finally had time to focus on the small business concept I’d been daydreaming launching about ever since I badly misunderstood Breaking Bad: artisanal “cough-syrup-to-crystal” methamphetamines. Consumers responded to my fresh take on illegal stimulants, but when my product attracted the attention of the Cártel de Baja California Generación Buena (CBGB) and their mysterious but charismatic leader “El Tigre,” I became a victim of my own success. It turns out that the cartels have a lot less respect for craftsmanship than basic cable led me to believe, and so, long story short, I agreed to launder a significant portion of the organization’s Los-Angeles-area revenue through a microblogging platform.

The truth is, I’m bored, and I would much rather write things on my own platform than try to convince an editor that my interests are topical and urgent. They aren’t! They never were! I am hopeful that relaunching the Criterion Contraption will let me do more of the kind of work I did for The Dissolve. If you like thinking about how movies work, you might enjoy this website. That’s it, that’s the whole pitch!